My super star friend sways away and I stand watching till she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says "she's gone"...Gone where?
Gone from my sight, that is all. She is just as gorgeous now as when last I saw her. Her slightly disappearing figure and total loss from my sight is in me, not in her.
And just at that moment, when someone at my side says she's gone, there are others who are watching her coming over their horizon and other voices take up a glad shout - There she comes! That is what dying is - an horizon and just the limit of our sight.
My lifeline, my lexicon, therapist and support system…we have known lots of pleasure, at times endured ppai, we have lived in the sunshine and walked in the rain. I had acute malaria (was shaking terribly) but performed “skibobo” with you at the Industry Night and Loud&Proud show, I sprained my ankle but still shot your three videos in a row in S/A.
I left my family house and moved in with you and your family right after all the Big Brother Africa madness, I did all the damage control…
I fought every organizer simply cos I wanted you on the bill with me and split my show earnings with you. I dragged you to the American Embassy even if it meant I had to get up at 4am. I endured negative criticism because shallow minds couldn’t comprehend your brand essence – I started wearing block heels (you got me the most fabulous pair of Jeffrey Campbells) and I damned the consequences. I recorded the reality show “Tru Friendship” with you because you went on and on about it and I wanted to please you.
I have been your fierce-alter ego in all your videos, I have fought your fights, endured countless eccentric P.As with you…I can go on and on and this is how you leave me? You chose an eternal sleep over a fabulous life with me? Lest I forget, I ate the entire box of birthday chocolates Bola sent to you!
Phew, I can’t type anymore, I’m playing “Good To Me” (always disturbed you to release that song) and my notepad is a misty mass of my never ending tears. So sad when people who give you the best memories, become a memory!
The Goldie I knew, despite your success and worldwide recognition, still wondered, “Am I good enough?” “Am I pretty enough?” “Will they like me?” It was this burden that made you great…And that made you stumble in the end.
Goldie if you can hear me now, you weren’t good just good enough – You were abso-frigging-lutely GREAT! You sang the whole damn song without a band- you made the picture of a showbiz star look so perfect!
Your parting has left a void, but I will fit it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss and oh yes, these things I too will miss. Even though we are separated and for a time apart, I am not alone cos you’re forever in my heart. I will move mountains to continue your legacy, I will crash ceilings to spread your good works, I will break barriers to sell your “market” but above all, I will cherish the awesome times we spent together…You will forever be my source of infinity!
We wore the same shoe size and had the same body proportions. You made me start strutting lashes and recall I wore that black dress of yours you never got to wear? No masterpiece can ever match your face! To everyone reading this piece, let my dear friend rest in peace! Speak no evil about her, she was too good to be true!
I can hear you say to me…Mbirikoko, do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep, Do not stand at my grave and cry…I am not there, I did not die!
Denrele Edun
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